Tis the season to be jolly – you friendless piece of sh#t!

Sadly one person has not entered the seasonal mood down in Thepprasit Road, Jomtien, on Thailand’s eastern seaboard.

He has been very quiet. At least so I thought. But no! Drew Walter Noyes, the fake American lawyer, exposed time and time again on this website, has been messaging his former employee Ivan Schiffer, in terms of hate.

Noyes is the ghost of Christmas Past. Last year he was sued by Father Christmas for allegedly calling him a drugs trafficker – but unfortunately Father Christmas (Andre Machielsen) lost as he never thought that the judges would actually believe Noyes’ defence that somebody else (one of his enemies) must have used his GMail.

Anyway finding that Schiffer was warning people about his tricks, Noyes reported Schiffer to Immigration Police, who deported him to Brazil after he turned up at the Cambodian border to make a belated visa run.  Schiffer had proffered the requisit 20,000 baht overstay fine– but it was not accepted – as Noyes had predicted.

However Schiffer duly turned up back in Thailand recently to see Noyes squirm though an evening at the FCCT, and to find his aromatic oils business had been taken over by – a friend of Drew Noyes’ –  I guess he is on the warpath together with a Red Indian (ok native American) who paid Noyes 1 million baht for shares in the Pattaya Times newspaper – and all he got was a press card like Ivan’s and a Pattaya Times bomber jacket (500 baht).

The Pattaya Times, which Drew Noyes boasted falsely had a readership of 500,000 ( over 100 people must have read each copy printed) of course has now bombed.

Noyes says in his messages he is going to get Schiffer arrested.

“Let’s see how much help your friend Drummond is now that you have already given him all you had of interest.  You have no morals (strange this coming from Drew Noyes) and deserve what is coming. I prefer they catch you soon so you sit in jail for a long time without bail.


“I will add all the favors and money I gave you over the years and then multiply the amount of sorrow you will receive. You are a worthless friendless piece of shit Ivan, no matter which name you are using.  You now have criminal charges against you. Looking forward to finding you and getting justice you coward.”

Schiffer had tipped off an American businessman not to get into business with Noyes. The businessman told Noyes about Schiffer, hence the fireworks, and fiery words. The American businessman claimed he was however US$250,00 down, having, he said, been sold a condo at 5 times its market value, and found that Noyes had invested in two projects called ‘Cupid’s’ – which nobody wants.

He has said in retrospect he wants to thank Schiffer. And knows how he can show his gratitude for the advice he did not take.

Cupid – no takers in Pattaya and four years into a 10 year lease. He could earn more if he renamed it ‘W@nkers’ or
perhaps over the Yultide Period ‘Elves Eleven’ – Santa’s Little Helpers? – Snow White’s? or ‘Ho Ho Ho’s’.

Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Finally this just in from Mr. Brian Goudie on Koh Samui I presume who wants to show he still is in possession of his passport. I am more than happy to publish this picture at his request. Several lawyers of course want to know: Is he going places?

Yes, but there was no Brian Goudie born on October 3 1967

5 thoughts on “Tis the season to be jolly – you friendless piece of sh#t!

  1. You can legally have more than one British passport. Nowadays you need to give a reason but 20 years ago you just applied.

    Travelling on a passport reported lost may get you stopped and is also illegal. Seems simple and maybe ex-con Brian would recommend it but it is only useful for sad photos of yourself holding it up.

    Brian is holding an older passport, that style has not been issued for the last few years as they were easier to forge than the current version, relatively speaking.

  2. Goudie we all have 2 passports since they stopped the need to send the old one back to Hong Kong! Why is the photo the same as your criminal record pic?

  3. I am sorry Andrew but this whole story smells.
    Firstly if this American really paid Drew 5 times more for a condo than what it is actually worth then he is an idiot who would have lost his money to a Pattaya bar girl/hooker anyway. Like the ones from Misty's and the Buffalo Bar. He fell for a fake lawyer, not the fake love offered at Misty's agogo.
    Even if Drew bullshitted him, as i am sure he would have, he still could have looked around a bit to see that he had been bullshitted to. If somebody offered me that much over for my condo I would sell it in a heartbeat as I believe anybody would. Really, a win to Drew, fair and square.
    Previously you reported that he was an investor in Cupids Gentlemans club/whorehouse?. But then he denied that and said that he had only given Drew 250,000USD for safekeeping. Why? Is Drew a bank? Do you believe him? A blind man could see this is odd. Doesn't make sense. I think more likely he, now realizing his money has well, entered the elephant's mouth, but probably doesn't want it known publicly that he threw away his life savings on a Pattaya "gentleman's club"
    Add that to the fact that Ivan Schiffer tried to warn him and he then warned Drew about Schiffer which caused Schiffer to lose his business and be deported. He must be the most gullible, stupid, foolish American to have ever made Thailand his home.
    I think there must be more to this story. Are you reporting the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth Andrew? He has been in contact with you for sure, that is why you previously used his name but now you don't.
    He stupidly paid way too much for Drew's condo and looks to me like he invested in a failed business that never got off the ground. In this case I think Drew has taken advantage of a fool but really done nothing illegal. He should have done his own due diligence.
    Nice win for Drew, $250,000. Idiots like this make it too easy. Lot of money for little work.
    Off to Misty's tonight, I think I will barfine a worker with a name beginning with N. Good to see Goldie is an avid reader.
    Perth jails are renown for rape by the native Aborigine population. I hope Goldie is now ok. Six years is certainly a long time without a woman.

  4. Once again….
    Schiffer, another victim of Mr PATTAYA NEWS.
    SCHIFFER's business has been taken over by NOYES's friend, I guess this Thai lady Laddawan and his french boyfriend.
    What a mess to allow such people to live in this country.

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