Drew Walter Noyes, Pattaya’s infamous American, who claimed to be a lawyer, is stepping up his attempts to whitewash his past and is now claiming 17 years in Thailand in service of the King.

He makes this claim on his Facebook site ‘BestPattayaLawyers’ which of course needless to say does not represent the best Pattaya Lawyers.

And indeed if anyone could produce a list of the best Pattaya lawyers and rate them by competence and honesty we would all be grateful.

Despite the fact that #DrewNoyes has managed to recruit an Army Colonel to speak up on his behalf in court – presumably to show that Noyes is fully behind the military government and vice versa,…..I am not sure that the Palace would approve of Drew Noyes’ loyal actions over the last few years – that is since he announced in his now defunct Pattaya Times that he had been invited to Thailand by Royal Proclamation.

Here are few of them. I have just listed 19 to commemorate his anniversary plus 2, and which no doubt he has listed to count towards his next Royal Decoration. I am sure readers can remember many more.

No. 1 – This has to be of course his conviction last year and sentencing to two years in jail for extortion while claiming that he was FBI cleared.  Noyes told Michel Goulet the co-owner of the Thonglor Clinic, Jomtien that he was the big boss in town, and that Goulet needed to go through Noyes Inc. if he wanted to do business in his town. And Noyes demanded 7 million baht to stop a raid by the CSD* on his premises when illegal medical substances would be found.

No.2 – (My favourite) This must be his purchase of the web-domain ‘Offical.blowjobs.info’. I have no idea why he bought this domain name along with others like ‘MeetThaiUniversityGirls’ (in his wife’s name) but his antics in court when he accused the owner of this site of alleging that his wife gave oral sex to foreigners in Pattaya have just got to be given the Hollywood treatment when I write the book. (No such accusation was made).

No.3 – Ripping off an school friend from Jefferson High School, now a weapons instructor to the US military, to the tune of US$250,000. This is what his friend gave him for two condos owned by the Thai National Housing Authority (presumably for less well-off Thais) and a share in a nightclub business.  The nightclub business never took off and ‘Cupid’s’ has now become the Athena Club in Jomtien – and has still failed to open. This case was settled out of court and Noyes was forced to make an undisclosed payment.  Two other people he tried to foist NHA condos onto cottoned on and he was forced to repay or face arrest. The friend later confided that Noyes was the school snitch.

No.4. Ripping off Dutchman Theo van der schaaf by pocketing the 2.5 million baht der schaaf had given him to settle on his girlfriend in a dispute over ownership of the house they lived in together.

This was again settled out of court and Noyes had to make an undisclosed payment.

Noyes had promised ‘disputes settled with tact’ – but so tactless were his reps that the ex-girlfriend called police on Noyes’ team.

After he was rumbled Drew Noyes started a campaign on his Pattaya Times website claiming van der schaaf was a Dutch pornographer. In fact van der schaaf was a producer of children’s television and a show featuring a rabbit called ‘Miffy’,

No.5. Announcing to the world in the Pattaya Times that the Crime Suppression Bureau was hunting down British journalist Andrew Drummond for telling lies about respectable businessmen in Thailand. It never happened of course – and now the CSD as we once knew it is no more – closed due to rampant corruption.

But not before Noyes set up a site ‘AskCSD’ later changed to AskThailandPolice in which punters were invited to report crime to the CSD through his site!

No.6. Announcing in the Pattaya Times that the government was going to seize all property owned by foreigners in dormant company names.

But he had the answer to all their problems. Pensioner Joe McCluskey went to him for help and he was offered 200,000 baht for his 2 million baht property.

Needless to say McCluskey never sold even though Noyes told the 77-year-old he could stay in the house until, well, he, er couldn’t.

No.7. Announcing that an exposé of his activities in the Morning Star in North Carolina  under the headline ‘Trouble Follows Developer’ was an April Fool’s Day joke and that he had sued and won.

In fact the report which was indeed published on April 1st 1995 which accused him of share and property fraud and sexual harassment in his office demanding oral sex from a member of staff on pain of cutting her hours, was indeed a serious report.

And he never sued. Nor was the reporter Scott Gold fired as Noyes also claimed.  Scott Gold is now with the LA Times.

No.8 Having another judgment ruled against him in San Jose Court, California. The court ordered Noyes to pay US$72,000. Noyes had cheated a Tom Flanagan by selling him useless shares in his New England Trading company.

The court heard that Drew Noyes posed as a medical doctor to sell him the shares. The initial judgment of US$25,000 was raised to US$72,000 in 2012.

No.9 Announcing that together with the Chief Judge of Chonburi that he was writing a book on Thailand’s libel laws – and the book would feature the libels of Andrew Drummond.

The book has never been published, nor have other promised literary works. The Pattaya Times has now closed down after repeated exposure on this site.

No.10. Ripping of a government video for the BOI – Board of Investment ‘One Stop One Start Service Centres’ to promote his Pattaya, One-Stop-Service-Centre pretending he had offices nationwide.

Visitors to his One Stop Service Center site were treated to a video featuring former Thai Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva promoting the government scheme.

But then again Drew Noyes boasts that he is an advisor to Thai government officials.

No. 11. Demanding exhorbitant sums from US porn makers in Pattaya to escape court action.

Most went elsewhere and found it cheaper – and yes they still never went to court.

One such film-maker Tony Poer, left, claims Noyes demanded US$50,000 to make his troubles go away.

This was the first story to arouse Noyes to instigate threats against this site.

No. 12. Founding the Pattaya Optimists, a group dedicated to help under-aged children with founding members which included, a now convicted child sexual molester Brian Wright,  three boiler room fraudsters, two of them currently targeting investors in the UK,  and an internet porn king Michael Strouse.

The Pattaya Optimists folded after Drew Noyes failed to pay his dues to the parent organisation in the United States.

No. 13. Announcing to readers of the Pattaya Times that he had could fix the BP oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico with a patented invention and inventing quotes saying that his plan was being considered.

The then editor of the Pattaya Times resigned over the story quite rightly saying his reputation was being compromised. The contraption designed to clear up the spill looked like something out of Jules Verne.

Rogue staff at the Pattaya Times created their own mock-up of the Huffington Post with Drew Noyes on the front page.

No.14. Announcing the rumoured death of Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra suggesting prostate cancer as a possible cause as a splash in the Pattaya Times.

No. 15. Ripping off punters by offering them shares in the Pattaya Times, a free Pattaya Times jacket and a work permit as a journalist on the Pattaya Times for 1 million baht.

He went about printing his own press cards for foreign ‘journalists’ at the Pattaya Times – but not many worked there.

No. 16. Ripping off house buyers by getting them to put their property in the name of his wife – ‘Much safer than putting it in the name of your own wife’ – to protect their investment – and charging them US$5000 for the service. 

This led to a furious Facebook argument between Noyes and retired New York publisher Stuart Furstman who fell for Noyes’ con – costing him in total US$10,000.

No.17. Falsely claiming that he has spent 17 years in the service of the King of Thailand and has completed training for skydiving and marksmanship at the hands of the Thai Army and that he was THE Master of Ceremonies for the 80th Birthday celebrations of King Bhumiphol

No.18. Recruited Filipina staff by advertising on social websites and pretending he was a big noise in Pattaya (which I guess he was) and sending them to work at PAPPA Law and the Pattaya Times.

But first he wanted to sample the goods. Two Filipinas had to flee after he refused to pay the salary demanded after one month, and one of whom claimed he locked her in a room and Keha Condo, Jomtien and assaulted her.

No.19: Produced an completely phony newspaper by ripping most of the content off the internet, except stories about himself, which he wrote himself.

This involved ripping off wire services, internet columns and even recipes and including them in the newspaper under the names of his ‘staff’

You just could not make this up! And of course Thailand is one of the few counties in the world where he can get away with.
But finally I loved his perception of British history from his entry on Naymz.

Drew Noyes Pattaya Con Man – New site which someone else has put up

Noyes Abatement Society


  1. Andrew, I have asked this question on another thread, but can anyone say when Noyes's appeal against his extortion conviction will be heard?
    Has any date been set down?

  2. "Noyes was the school snitch" This had me laughing out loud. Add in the rumours of more darker deeds and his association with convicted child rapists and the laughing stops. The man is just a deluded career criminal who is clearly mentally ill. He needs to be locked up in a secure facility, well away from a computer and access to Facebook. The headline is really "17 years of lies and bullshit from a deviant psychopath" You should write a book, it will be a best seller for decades at airports in Asia. Take the gloves off and really give Thailand the kicking it deserves. Who knows, you might just instigate some change. You actually have enough material for a series of books. LOL.

  3. I always remember subzero siam forum publishing dozens of his demented email threats… I think he wrote most of them after a night on the beer in the buffalo bar.

    Unfortunately, he then hounded topper and I think the forums demise was not unrelated.

  4. Can you add the infamous "Spike" magazine that Drew says he published for the gay community in Pattaya, the Filipino employee abuses and his part in the conspiracy to defraud that American millionaire along with Goudie and Hanks?

    As I said in the other topic, I wish you had stayed so you could use these examples of Drew's business ethics in your defamation trials as direct reasons for the pictorial satire. Getting any of them in a court record would allow someone to file charges based on the court testimony.

    Drew, all in all, is pretty lucky you left as I'm guessing even he is starting to realize that the more time he spends in a courtroom, the more about his business dealings will come out in a court record and not in a good way.

    1. As I recall, didn't Ms. Kanokrat already file lese majesty charges against Drew Walter Noyes with the CSD? I'm guessing she kept the paperwork, not that the corrupt police did anything about the issue.

    1. Apparently it's only people that are directly related to the royal family that this law applies to judging by the police inaction in this case.

  5. With a bit more effort we can can turn this into a top 50
    20 Spike Gay Mag
    21 His court case and forced public apology to his nemesis Niels Colov, for ripping off his phone book and then claiming it was a best seller.
    22 The mystery of the missing Tsunami charity tins.
    23 The Jomtien Hotelier Mangus Evans
    23 The sworn statement from his ex wife of being beaten, spat on ,of Drew terrorizing the pre schoolers where she worked and the police taking Drew's gone from him.
    24 The Jomtien Complex, Drew, Brian Wright and Bobby Brooks
    25 The various cases where ex wives have taken him to court for child support.
    26 The Buffalo Bar Girl who he is just friends with but lived with him as husband and wife and posed for wedding photos.
    27 The “ 7-10" store in Thailand.. It was a failure.
    28 Building a marina in North Carolina.. He never did it.
    29 Taking over the “ Old Flamingo Hotel” on Soi 5. .. Never happened
    30 Buying the 27th. Floor of Markland .. Never happened
    31 Renting floor 15 & 16 at Channel 3 Bldg in Bangkok. Never happened
    32 Developing the 2nd.. Floor of Tops.. A failure
    33 Taking over all of the shop houses being built next to Royal Garden.. Never happened
    34 Starting a radio station and TV station called TITS … Never happened.
    35 Building high rise condos in the Tops parking lot.. Never happened.
    36 Foreign investors read the Bankok Pattaya Times, Never published.
    37 Mumma Mia Italian Restaurant with Harald Link, where Drew used to entertain Chonburi judges, potential marks and his lady friends, but never once paid for anything. Maybe you should ask Harald what he lost on that deal.
    38. Drew's banning from Thai Polo
    39. His 14 year old niece falling pregnant!!
    40. Duck Square, Lollipop, Zebra beer bars, rooms with no windows, locked doors and streaming porn to foreign pedophiles
    41 The hand delivered letter to Yinglock representing all the foreigners in Thailand and the stalking photo where he claimed to have met her and they spoke for several minutes.

  6. From Drew's Facebook page.

    "Why I know what I know and think you know too. We are all connected. Steve Jobs said he received the inspiration for the iPhone from a Zen meditation experience in a Buddhist temple putting his mind in a "Flow State." The iPhone puts a library of collective knowledge we all can contribute to thereby becoming the greatest tool of exposing the evolution of thought and advancements set in the Akashic Records.
    I read Edgar Cayce"s books as a young boy and have always led my life likewise using a universal cache of knowledge accessed during deep meditation."

    I think he has spelt that last word wrongly. It should be masturbation.

  7. So Drew's old school friend reveals that Drew was known as the school snitch. Unsurprising. Drew has always had issues,
    What is surprising was the old friend trusted his money to the school snitch. What is worse though is that he was warned by oilman Ivan that Drew was about to rob him of his life savings. But instead of thanking Ivan and holding on to his savings, he decides to invest? with Drew and snitches on Ivan. Drew then snitched on Ivan which resulted in Ivan being deported, and and ally of Drew's taking over his business.
    Som Nom Naa as the Thais would say. The innocent victim in this was Ivan.Who has described the way Drew uses his friendships with successful and important people as 'wanking with someone elses cock!"
    If I am wrong with this version of events, perhaps Ivan might like to correct me and I wonder if Drew's old school friend has made any effort to compensate Ivan or even apologize. But considering he is a friend of Drew's, the guy is most likely an asshole.

  8. The video of Drew talking about his wife being fine about having other wives makes me laugh. This was an uneducated girl, who married the owner of a beer bar in Duck square, was from the North East, who couldn't even read and who married a sexual predator more than twice her age who has form of living with bargirls (Naam). Hmmm, one can draw conclusions.
    Many Pattaya Bar girls couldn't care if there customers have other bargirls as long as they still get paid. Less 'work' for them to perform for their aging customers. Where it goes wrong though is when the customer forgets he is just a long term customer and believes that he is somehow 'special'

  9. I watched the video twice, which was enlightening..A sleazebag thinly disguised as a legitimate speaker.

    Among the gems I picked out of the pile of donkey dung, direct from the cake hole of alleged sex offender Noyes.." I was given a PIECE OF PAPER ( LOL) through the US embassy, to do anything Thai people can do in Thailand in regards to business, BASED ON BEING HELPFUL to Thailand. It was a special provision of the Treaty of Amity.."

    and he spewed out other assorted trash..

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